{This is a combination of two prompts. Day #22, which was to rant and Day #25, which is to share something said about you, positive or negative, and how it affected you.}
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When I was in high school, I really struggled with depression and suicidal ideation.
Which made social interaction with my peers rather, ummm, strained at best and impossible at worst.
That said, I was able to attract other struggling people to me like flies to honey.
Misery loves company I guess.
Well, I, in the depths of my struggle, went on a mission trip to the inner-city of Minneappolis.
The trip with my church youth group had the chance to be a turnaround for me.
Unfortunately, it was not. It turned into one of the most hurtful weeks of my life then.
One of the issues was that we partnered with another church and there was this girl that came that was worse than me on the suicidal ideation scale, if there is such a thing.
Misery loves company.
I think depression and suicide and hopelessness was all me and her talked about that week.
If that wasn't bad enough, I only remember one other interaction from that entire week.
You see, somewhere deep down I knew that wallowing with that girl was wrong and was hurting me.
I decided I needed a break one night so I joined some of my peers.
I don't remember what preceded the comment but I will never forget what was said.
How she whirled her head around at me, like she was sooo much better.
Glared.
And called me a retard.
Ever since that moment in time, all those years ago, I have HATED that word.
That was long before I went to school for human services.
It was long before I started helping people who couldn't help themselves.
But, in some small way, I think that girl being a jerk to me that day fueled the passion I now have for people with special needs.
Imagine.
Even aside from my opinion about using retarded to talked about cognitive or developmental disabilities.
(Which I am not okay with either.)
Imagine having what you ARE, what you have no choice about, being used to put someone else down.
I have very little patience for that.
I am normally not judgmental, but you use the r-word and red flags will be flying around like crazy.
Use it too much and, I'm sorry, but we won't be friends.
There it is.
My rant and my bad memory.






