An Impact.

So I watched "The Blind Side" tonight (trailer here). Normally I am not into football movies. Not a big fan of football in general. Sorry guys. But oh, if there is a Vikings fan out there...Go Packers!! But I am not adverse to a good ole sports related inspirational classic.

But this was not the standard football movie. This movie really made me think.

Leigh Ann Tuohy had a profound impact on Michael Oher's life. God used her in an amazing way. I guess, out of all of the themes in this movie that is the one that caught me the most. It really made me think about my life. Right now, my life seems so small. I work at an Assisted Living. I am going to school full time. I am not completely sure and somewhat frazzled at the thought of my future plans. I barely have time to keep up with friendships, let alone reach outside and try to be used as an impact for God in someone's life. I love God and I try to serve Him, but I don't always have time to invest in things, projects or people because of how my life is right now. Before you judge, that is NOT the way I want it.

How is God going to use me?? Will He give me an opportunity to mean something to someone? Will it get to a point where my opinion matters? I am not there yet. Right now I am a college student who does college student type things and trys her darndest to get by on what she has. But someday God will use me. Or He will show me how He is using me now. Hopefully both.

PS: A little afterthought...I would not wave this movie through with flying colors. There was some objectionable content in it. For the right audience, this movie is fantastic and thought provoking....but you may want to preview it before showing it to younger kids. Full review here.

An adjustment period.

I turned 23 this week. Never, for 22 birthdays did I go without eating at least one piece of cake. Until this year. Well, mom did make me gluten free brownies (From a mix! Betty Crocker!)

It has been a week and three days since I have eaten gluten. And I have obsessively been checking labels. I can't tell you how many times "I hate to be this person, but can I see the ingredient label" came out of my mouth this week. It made me want to teach some people a lesson in customer service and state mandates, but that is another story for another day.

My diet has consisted of:
~Rice
~Frozen Salmon fillets
~Marinated Chicken Breasts
~Scallops
~Shrimp (But I don't think my stomach like those.)
~Eggs
~Cheese
~Various spices
(And, of course my birthday brownies!! My mom surprised me with those. I didn't know she was going to get them...she has no idea what to make for me! But she bought the somewhat pricey mix and that meant a lot) :)

Things are going pretty good, all in all. Withdrawal is only bad when it is bad. I try not to emphasize the bad and just enjoy the good food I have been eating. And, well, I lost seven pounds without even focusing on that. That is the silver lining this week. Although I haven't been diagnosed with a gluten problem, my symptoms are so much better!! I would say they are about 85% better. And that makes it worth it. I am feeling good 85% of the time!!!! AMAZING! For months I always felt icky. Always felt uncomfortable. And I was in pain quite a bit too! That, all that, is 85% gone! Praise the Lord!

It's late. I need to sleep. 2nd blog post in one night. 'Nuff said.

A gentle shower.

So while I was frantically looking for my keys this evening...I went outside. It was raining. I happen to love the rain. Especially when it doesn't get in the way of plans!! But I love when you walk outside and everything just smells fresh. Like the whole world went through a washing machine with Mountain Fresh Detergent.

Only I would use that analogy. But I can't think of any other way to explain it.

Today was an interesting day. I guess you could say that I learned that awkward situations don't go through the rinse cycle. Awkward situations are going to stay that way until you are willing to put the effort into changing them and making them right again. Otherwise, they will continue being awkward every time you run into them. You may want that to just disappear, but I guess I would wonder if things are awkward for a reason. Is the awkwardness protecting me from something worse?? Is it keeping me from getting my heart hurt again? The current situation is far from ideal, but the way things were was worse. Yes. Sometimes awkwardness can be erased with honest and genuine confrontation of the issue...but is it always worth it?

Those who know me may know that I am not the most confrontational person on earth. I will readily acknowledge that as fact. Lately, I have been getting better though. At the very least I am learning how to pick my battles. Today's situation was far from worth it. But other things are. You can't hide behind awkwardness as an excuse to hide within yourself.  You are worth more than being constantly bombarded by feeling out of place. There is so much I have to offer in a friendship. A friendship that can be saved is sometimes worth saving. The difference is whether you are trying to save yourself from being alone or because the friendship is what you truly need and deserve. Every relationship has hiccups. The important thing to learn how to discern is when those hiccups are worth forging through and when they are a warning sign to look out for. Coming from someone who has been hurt, I hope you know the difference. If something is bothering you say something. Bring it up.  Open your mouth. Listen: You can not be mad at the person later for not listening to you if you don't talk about it now. There are so many things I coulda/shoulda said and asked so many times. I can't help but wonder if God would have used my words. Now He will use the voice of someone else. That is the only thing that  keeps me from playing the scared ostrich and hiding my head in the sand half the time.

But let God use whatever voice and confidence you have inside!! Because He will. And you will be so blessed by it even if you don't see the immediate results. God will stretch you and help you grow through these very difficult steps of obedience. And remember, you're not just speaking to obey....you could be protecting yourself in the process. Even if the friendship or relationship ends in awkwardness.

Remember also that God works everything out for HIS glory and our good.

PS: I found my keys!! :)

A huge change...

So I have been having a lot of issues in the past few months. I have been in pain often and uncomfortable almost all the time. I won't get into symptoms...trust me, you don't want to know. And I don't particularly want you to know. LOL

One day I was researching my thyroid condition (hypothyroidism) when I came across Hashimoto's syndrome. One of the symptoms of Hashimoto's was Celiac's Disease or Gluten Intolerance. My thyroid is pretty under control now so I know I don't have Hashimoto's, but I kept going back to Celiac's. I have soooo many of the symptoms. It made sense.

However, I love food. LOVE food. Know any emotional eaters?? That's me. Nothing tastes better before (or after, lol) a long day of work than a Little Debbie Zebra Cake. If I am bored, I eat. Upset? I eat. Sad? Yup, you got the picture. I did not want to consider that food was what was making me sick, but in the past few weeks, that is what has made the most sense. So I finally went in for blood work this week.

My tests came back today and showed no gluten intolerance. My doctor said there is a slight chance that it could be a "false negative" or that the symptoms just hadn't shown up in my blood. He said that he has never seen that occur, but short of an intestinal biopsy my research has shown that you can not depend on tests for a diagnosis of a gluten intolerance.

I have another doctor appointment in two or three weeks. As of tomorrow, I will be gluten free. I want to see if that alleviates my symptoms. If it does, I will tell the doctor that. If it does not, we know that isn't what it is. My next step would be to look into other food allergies. 

So wish me luck on my G-free journey!! Any advice or recommendations would be GREAT!!!! Also, please pray for me. This is going to be soooo hard.

A fresh start!

Hi. I haven't been around lately. Sorry! Life is insane. I was tempted with starting a brand new blog but decided that I really like my address so I just did a huge makeover. The new layout doesn't look like much now, but it is pretty fantastic once there is more on the blog. Can't wait!!

This layout has something that my others have lacked...PICTURES!! I am very excited! As I add my blog posts the layout will look like it is changing...which may deter me from feng shui-ing my blog all the time. I swear. I spend more time doing that than actually blogging. If anyone needs help jazzing up their blogs I may be available. Enable me! ;)

I also have some more ideas about things to blog about....trust me, you don't want to hear about my life ALL the time, it is ever so boring. So you'll see some music/movie/book reviews, web site recommendations, quotes, crafts, cooking and more. I am going to be working on getting in better shape too, so I may bicker about that from time to time If anyone ever has any recommendations for something I should read/review/make/etc let me know!! I am up for the challenge! :)

Alrighty, well, that's about it for now!!! Hopefully I can stick to my blog this time!! I love it, but it gets backburner-ed and forgotten if things get super crazy. That will not happen again. Hopefully. Comment and yell at me if it does....that goes straight to my inbox!!

Glad to be back!