Operation Resolution: August

Well, here we are again. Another month over…crazy, huh? I really don’t want to write this post this time around…but I am, mostly because I don’t want to give up on this project. I have been writing these posts for seven months now. Crazy! I want to do something similar next year, but maybe something easier than writing about all these categories. It’s all fine and good when things are wonderful and I have lots of fun stuff to talk about. But lately things have been a little harder on my end so it’s just more difficult.

Think Positively

I have been dealing with some financial issues lately. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I spent a lot of this last month being scared. I didn’t know how I was going to make ends meet. I didn’t know how I would make it through the month, let alone the year. I spent far too much time thinking about things I don’t know instead of relying on the Lord and on the fact that He has got it all taken care of already. This difficulty is part of His plan for me and my life. This isn’t some mistake God made or something that happened when He wasn’t looking. This is a part of His plan.

I don’t understand that. I don’t even know if I want to right now. But I accept it because the wonderful things that have happened this year happened because of decisions I made in the past. This year is proof to me that God does have a plan behind the “madness” of the things I go through…some really tough things that God has used to bring me to so much happiness that I don’t always know what to do about it. I trusted God before this year, but this year has given me proof I didn’t need that I trust a great God who loves me and has my best in mind.

Exercise Daily

Yeah, no. Didn’t happen.

Eat Healthy

Things went pretty well for me in this area in August. The funny thing is that I am an emotional eater. In the past nothing would make me happier on a bad day than cake or a late night Taco Bell run. But now when I “need” to eat stuff like that…I find myself racking my brains trying to figure out what “guilty pleasure” food there is that doesn’t have milk in it. The fact is that there isn’t much out there. That has led to some MUCH better decision making on my part. I did do one really bad slip up a couple weeks ago because I thought I didn’t care if I got sick…well, that cupcake was good in the moment. It tasted darn good, my friend. Omygosh. But I got sick. Really sick…for like four days.

Eating junk food never had good side effects much longer than five minutes after eating them. But those five minutes was important to me. For those five minutes everything else going on didn’t matter. I probably sound like some obsessed food addict talking like this. But the fact of the matter is that I have become a lot more conscious of how bad my emotional eating was and I want to be open about it because I know I am not the only woman out there that struggles with this. But this month kind of showed me that God has offered me victory over this issue. He has offered me victory because the alternative is being really sick. That is proving to be enough for me. I am thankful for that because nothing else has seemed to help. It’s a little embarrassing to talk about this but it is something God has really brought to light within the past month in the area of eating and I wanted to share it with you guys in an effort to be open about it.

My struggles with eating and overeating have definitely changed since being diagnosed as Lactose Intolerant but my little heart to heart with God over emotional eating this month has shown me that they most certainly have not gone away. It’s a hard thing, but it is not an impossible thing to conquer. I serve a great God who cares about every aspect of my life. He cares that this “silly” issue is hard for me. He cares enough to offer me victory over some of them through this diagnosis…I know that He isn’t writing off my current struggles either. He has already offered me victory over them, I just have to claim that victory. Which is easier said than done! Trust me.

Work Hard

Well, I have still definitely been working hard. I have been covering a lot of hours at work and it’s just been kinda crazy. I am also gearing up to start my second job on Tuesday, it is a little overwhelming to thinking of adding MORE work to what I am already doing. But I know I can do it. I prayed for God to provide a solution to my financial issues and this job is it. I have faith that He will give me the strength and endurance to follow through and do both of the jobs to the best of the ability He has given me. I truly believe that He will not give me more than I can handle. I know I can handle this. It is not a forever thing. Life in the foreseeable future isn’t going to be easy but it is the life I have been blessed with and I am going to do the best I can to be thankful for it.

I’ll be working part time second shift at a hotel front desk. I am actually a bit excited because this is a brand new job for me. I love working with people so I think I will enjoy it a lot. I did some training this week and I will start the actual job this coming Tuesday. It should be a good fit for me and the hours just fit perfectly! I am really praising the Lord for this job. I know it is going to be hard to do it all, but God is going to help me through what He has led me to. I have faith in that!

Stay Strong

I feel like the more difficulties I run into the less strength I feel like I have, like my strength is being drained instead of growing when I struggle. Sometimes it feels like it is all I can do to get through the day. I get home from work and all I want to do is curl up into a ball and sleep. I don’t feel strong. Not one bit. I feel like I cannot do what I have to do. I have been clinging to the truth that I have God’s strength inside me. It’s like a firework, waiting to go off when I need it the most. An unending supply of fireworks. That is almost what it feels like when that Strength rushes over me, like something huge and something beautiful is happening. His strength is shown to be perfect in my many, many weaknesses. That is really all I can say about that.

Worry Less

This was a hard one for me this month. Worry really is the most worthless of recreational activities. It really is. It just kinda sucks the life out of you. It only subtracts. There is nothing gained by worry. And yet I just can’t seem to stop worrying. I wish I could. Nothing keeps me awake at night like money troubles…and I am not gaining anything by spending far too many nights counting the pennies and dimes that I don’t have. I need to get better at immediately giving my worries over to the Lord when they do come creeping up on me at night. It is something I really need to work on, it most certainly won’t happen without me working on it. I know that much is true.

Dance More

I know I have shared this song before but it is a song that has brought me tons of encouragement. God would just bring it to mind when I needed to be reminded of the truths in the lyrics.

Love Often & Be Happy

God has been so good to me. My life is so full right now.  Despite everything that has gone on in my life in the past few months I am so happy and so full of joy because of what the Lord has given to me. I am so thankful. I feel like I could say that a million times a day and that still wouldn’t be enough. This has been the hardest and best year of my life. I have a lot to get through, but I have abundantly more to be thankful about. My life has been forever changed by this year and every single change has been for the better. Not every change has been easy. But they have all been good. I never dreamed that I would have to face the things I have this year…but it was beyond my furthest imagination that I could look at what is going on in my life and still be so utterly and completely happy at the end of the day. The Lord is so good to me. I am so thankful for His love and grace. He has given me more than I could have ever dreamed of getting. So much joy, strength, encouragement and love have filled the last few months. More than I could ever dream up on my own.

I disappeared again...

Hi guys! I want to apologize for dropping off the face of the earth for so long. I have a lot going on right now. I just needed to take some time to sort my thoughts and get things figured out. I can't tell you how much time in the past couple weeks I have spent staring at the blank screen to write a new blog entry. My mind has just been going a million miles a minute and I wasn't sure how to get any of my many thoughts out.

Part of the reason I have been struggling to write is that I try to have a very positive writing "voice" on my blog...partly because  I try to be a positive person and partly because I don't think you guys want to read posts where I complain about my problems. I mean, I know I don't really enjoy blogs where people just vent, vent, vent all the time. There is a place for that ...but I don't want my blog to be that place for me. I would rather vent my frustrations on scrap paper, give those frustrations over to God and put the paper reminders where they belong...torn up into a million pieces and thrown in the garbage. I haven't been doing that enough lately either though.

Lately though I have spent a lot of time being overwhelmed. I don't like that at all. I wish that giving stuff over to the Lord came easily to me but it just doesn't. What's that saying again? Something about how our lives are supposed to be living sacrifices...but the thing about living sacrifices is that they can climb off the alter. That is kind of like what this is like for me. I get to "bad points" and I spend time in prayer and cry out to God and give my issues to Him but then once things settle down it's like I take my troubles back and think I can handle them all over again. The thing is that I cannot do it. I can't handle stuff on my own and I guess I wish that I could remember that as much in the "good" times as I do in the "not so good" times. Sometimes I think that is why things are never perfectly easy for me...God knows I need a little bit of trouble to remind me that I need Him.

This year has been a weird year for me. It has proven to be one of the hardest years of my life...but I can say beyond the shadow of a doubt that it has also been the best so far. It has been an interesting juxtaposition of emotions. But I can say without question that the Lord has been so good to me. I have so much to be thankful for. So, so much. Right now is not proving to be an easy period of my life...but it is such a good time for me. All at once. I am so thankful.

I am going to try to be better at blogging but my life is kinda obstacle filled at the moment. I don't have internet at my apartment for now (hopefully I will be able to get it again in October...not sure though) and actually just picked up a second job so I will be crazy busy working fifty or more hours a week between the two jobs. God definately provided the job so I am thankful for it...but I will be busy. So please bear with me.  I don't know if I will be able to keep up with my link ups but I will try to post a couple times a week at least. I am gonna try really hard to keep blogging but it just may be a little harder for me right now.

Friday's Fancies: Gorgeous Gingham

gorgeous gingham by tonsofsomething featuring a gingham dress

Happy Friday!

It's been one of those weeks, so I am definitely happy to see Friday today!

Plus, I am heading down to Illinois for the next few days so this Friday took especially long to arrive. :)

I love the them for this week's Friday's Fancies! I was totally getting a June Cleaver vibe from a lot of the dresses I was finding. I love the dress I decided on because it still has somewhat of a retro vibe without being like the dress Rory Gilmore wore on that one episode where she made dinner for Dean. Don't get me wrong, that was a totally cute look and actually something I normally gravitate towards...but just not today, apparently. :)

Now I want to watch some Gilmore Girls! :)

{just a note: I will be out of town Friday-Tuesday and have no blog posts planned for that time. Sorry! I was hoping to have some ready to pop up, but this has been a rather eventful week on the work front so it just didn't happen! Look for posts starting again on Wednesday. Until then....vacation time for me! :) }

Oh, How Pinteresting! {quotes edition}

We've made it halfway through the week! Yay!

Once again I am linking up with Michelle for Oh, How Pinteresting!

This week I am gonna share some of my favorite quote themed pins. I think I say this about evertyhing I pin, but quotes are one of my favorite things to pin. My Other People's Thoughts board is often used. :)

The nice thing about quotes is that they kinda speak for themselves! :) 

These are some that just stood out to me during the time I have been pinning.

Go Pack Go!

I normally don't share pictures I take of things I do. (Basically because I don't take pictures, lol)

But I went photo CRAZY on my trip to Green Bay for the Packers Family night and thought I would share some.

Facebook got over 100...no worries, less for the blog! :)

The main gate! 

They had a really cool drum line walking around entertaining people before they opened the doors. 

Before.

After. 

I guess there were like 69,000 people there. 

Packer fans are AMAZING!

There. He. Is.

I am pretty sure I have more love for #12 then I ever did for #4.

(That would be Aaron Rodgers for all you not lucky enough to know.)

Then the Army dropped in. 

Which was AMAZING!

It was such a fun night!! I really recommend it to all Wisconsinites. I was a little disappointed because they didn't actually play a full on game. (There were like five short quarters for the scrimmage.) BUT getting to see Aaron Rodgers throw some beautiful passes made me a happy girl! I tried to find pics of Donald Driver for you DWTS fans, but I just couldn't. I know I got some...but I seriously took TONS of pictures.

Other highlights:

~Seeing the little kids scrimmage on the field before the game. How cool would that be??~

~The Oneida Nation powwow. Makes me want to go to one!~

~Getting to see the team practice!~

~The Army parachute drop in...it was really amazing!~

~The flyover after the National Anthem. I wasn't expecting it and it gave me goosebumps.~

~Getting to see Rodgers throw an AMAZING pass to Driver. In person.~

~Seeing defensive linemen trying to punt. HILARITY.~

~Seeing the on field interviews!~

~THE FIREWORKS were amazing! They set them off around the top of the stadium, set to music. There are no words to explain how cool they were! The BEST show I have ever seen.~

Operation Resolution: July

Happy August!

We are officially more than halfway through 2012. How crazy is that?!?! The year is just FLYING by!

Think Positively I am having some trouble thinking positively right now, to be completely honest with you. I am dealing with things as they come up. I believe that God will provide for my needs. I know that everything will be okay...it's just hard to keep a positive attitude in this current situation. As a whole I had a really good month though. I took vacation time and actually got to use it for FUN! It was such a good week off, such a great blessing. :) 
Exercise Daily That didn't happen this month. Not really at all. I need to start focusing on that more...but it's just been hard. I've been really busy and just didn't prioritize exercising this month.
Eat Healthy In July I started trying out more recipes. I want to have an arsenal of recipes that are dairy free but where you aren't really missing dairy. I know there will always be food that I have to make and eat where I will miss dairy...but I want to start finding recipes where you can't really tell all that much. So far so good on that end! I found a couple of good ones. I am hoping to have a couple of Lactose Intolerant Cheesehead posts this month, so look for those if you are interested!
Work Hard I have definitely been working hard this month. I have put in a lot of overtime lately. I am adjusting okay to the new group home that I am working at. I have been really challenged by my clients but things are going really well. It feels like a good fit!

Stay Strong Over the last week of August, 2 Corinthians 12:9 has really been striking a cord with me. I have an issue that I have to completely rely on the Lord for and that is proving a lot harder for me than I would like to admit. I am pretty independent. I don't like to have to rely on anyone for help. I know that as a Christian that shouldn't be true because I should be relying on God for everything. But the human in me just likes to take care of myself. I am really struggling to allow God into this area of my life where I feel weak, but as a Christian I KNOW that this is my only option to get through what I am going through. Sitting here now I feel like this may be why I am going through this. I think God knows I need to get better at relying on Him with all of me and getting to the point where my weakness just translates to being an opportunity to claim His strength instead of cowering in my defeat. I really want to work on being okay not being strong, if that makes sense. It sounds weird to say it. But I am learning that His strength is much greater on my weakest days than my strength is on my strongest days. 
Worry Less I am kinda struggling in this area right now too. I am at the point where I just don't know how things are going to work out. I know that God has a plan and that everything is okay...but again with this control issue I have...I am just struggling to really believe that with my heart when rubber meets the road. I know it's true. I can sit here and know that. But as things keep piling up faster than I can sort them out it is hard not to get overwhelmed. It's hard in the moment to be looking at everything and not worry that you won't be able to handle what you have been dealt. I am trying hard to redirect my worries to prayer and to crying out to God. Please pray that I continue to be able to face everything as it comes and that I can handle this in a way that will give God glory in the end.
Dance More & Love Often 

I found this song a couple months ago and it has been a favorite ever since. Not only is the song good, but I love the music video too. I know I don't often talk about this area of my life but I am in a long distance relationship. It is totally worth any ounce of hard that comes...it is hard to care about someone so much and not be able to see him whenever I want to. The music video for this song is kinda what my life feels like when we are not together. The days kinda blur together and I always find myself counting down the days until the next time I get to see him. I think my favorite part, though, is when she is walking down the street and all the sudden realizes she is almost down with the countdown. :) Okay. I am done with my sappy disclosures.

For today at least. ;)


Be Happy My pastor once said that happiness depends on happenings, joy depends on Jesus. That is one of the truest statements about the difference in happiness and joy. While I can probably say I was happy most days in July, I can say with 100%  certainty that every single day last month I had joy in my heart. Joy that doesn't falter with what I am facing and dealing with. Joy that comforts me on the bad days and makes my smile bigger on the good days. I am so blessed to have Jesus. Everyday I can go to bed and know that when I wake up in the morning I will still have Jesus and I will still have joy. 

Friday's Fancies: T-Shirt Time

fridays fancies: t-shirt time by tonsofsomething featuring lace up shoes

Today's topic for Friday's Fancies is very relevant for what I will actually be wearing!! How often does that happen?!?!? So much fun! Tonight I am heading to Lambeau Field for my first trip EVER to go to family night. I was hoping to get to a preseason game this year...I think family night will be fun! I guess it is just the Packers...Offense vs. Defense. I can't wait!! (I am sorry for all the exclamation points...I'm a tad excited. =D ) I am going with my family and some friends of ours, should be a really great time. I am hoping I can sleep fast afterwards though...I have to work at 6a tomorrow! I know that is a bit of a stretch, but I just couldn't pass up the chance to go! :)

I Will Listen.

Yesterday was a pretty bad day for me. 

I spent most of the day being afraid of what my future looked like.

I hid in the bathroom at work and just turned myself over to that fear.

Fear that I couldn't take care of myself. 

Fear that I wouldn't be able to handle the cards I'd been dealt.

Fear that I couldn't work hard enough to come out on top.

Fear that I would loose hold of the strings I was using to hold everything together.

I spent eight hours yesterday as a slave to my fear. 

I wish that wasn't the case.

I wish I could have logged on to my blog today and been able to say that I faced what came my way and gave it over to the Lord immediately and how empowered I feel as a result.

That didn't happen.

I got bad news and I cried in the bathroom.

I spent eight hours being so scared.

And then I went home from work and watched Titanic.

(Nothing like that movie to remind you it could always get worse...)

Then I talked to my best friend.

Then.

Then I really gave it over to the Lord.

God had a sense of humor last night.

After the worst day I have ever had at work, my bad news aside, I got called BACK to work at 10pm for an hour. 

I was a little crabby about it. I mean, c'mon!

But I did it. 

I got to work and realized I had not brought my computer.

The clients were all in bed, so I had nothing to do.

Nothing that is, except pray. 

So I did.

I gave my fear over to Him.

I told Him I would probably get scared again. 

I told him about things I was unsure of.

Things that hurt my heart.

Things I want but can't have yet.

As I was praying, I was reminded of all the things I knew but in the moment didn't remember.

I serve a great God. 

A God who doesn't get surprised.

A God who knows what I am going to face every day for the rest of my life.

A God that allows things to happen in my life so that He can use those things, good and bad, to mold me into the woman He intends me to be. 

Then I started to thank Him.

Thank Him.

I have a lot to be thankful for. 

Lots and lots.

And as I sat on top of that picnic table God brought that song to my heart. 

So I started singing it.

I haven't even thought of that song in such a long time. 

(Side note: I should figure out how to make my own lyric videos.)

I couldn't remember the other verse but this morning when I looked it up I was so glad.

It was totally one of those "smiles from God" moments.

I love when God has songs speak to my heart the way that this one did last night and this morning.

I know that I haven't really said what is going on and I don't really intend to. But I'll be fine. 

I don't always like to share what my exact situations are, but I will share how they are changing me.

And how God is using them.

If I were to write what the situation, I would have spent the entire time complaining. 

Instead I have spent the last hour mediating on how God has it all under control.

You tell me the better use of my time. :)

Thank you for your prayers.

Oh, How Pinteresting! {diy Edition}

Happy Wednesday!! Today I am linking up with Michelle for Oh, How Pinteresting!

Okay, so one of my favorite things to pin are many of the AWESOME diy ideas that people come up with. Sometimes I feel guilty for pinning so many things that I many never get time to actually do/make...but it sure is nice to get the creative juices flowing and see the cool things I would love to try someday!

{original pinner unknown, sorry}

How cute is this?! I get so many ideas from this technique. 

{original pin}

Now this is something I really want to try!! 

I am hoping to grab some sale t-shirts and try this before the end of the summer.

I will be sure to post pictures if I do try it! I love how it looks.

{original pin}

Now that my hair is getting longer I should try to make some of these. 

I HATE spending a lot of money on hair toys, so this could be a good option.

I used to work at Joanns and know that you can purchase a wide variety of ribbon by the yard so that may be a good way to get a variety of ribbon types without spending too much. I would probably make one using cheap ribbon or even just a piece of rope so you get the measurement of what you need so you can get JUST the right amount of ribbon for the project. At Joanns you can get it by the inch.

{original pinner}

Um, WHAT?

It's DIY Milkglass.

I think I am a little in love with this project.

I am not sure if I will get to try it because I don't have a place to spray paint.

But I love this so much.

Crafty people are so smart. Just when you think you have seen it all something else pops up that makes you think....

Why didn't I think of that?!?